The South Stands

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Automatic registration has been disabled. If you wish to register please email me at sobronco(the number thirty)-at-hotmail.

Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10]

Author Topic: Post of the Century Thread  (Read 12680 times)

les morpions

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 14948
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #225 on: December 16, 2015, 06:24:37 PM »

"there were no blast furnace conditions inside either tower that morning."

You seriously can't be serious.
There was no wind that morning, the rolling black smoke (darker the smoke, the lower the temperature of the burn) was billowing out and lazily going 'up' not outward with any force.

You are aware of what blast furnace conditions would be like, right? (raging fires (where you can see flames) inside do not equate to blast furnace temperatures) Maybe that's it. Maybe you people who believe in blast furnace conditions are just too stupid to be reasoned with.

What other reasons can explain this.

It gets shit tons hotter inside of cast iron stoves like my father has been feeding seasoned hickory & oak for the last 30 years (and the stove has never weakened or changed shape under it's own damned heavy weight)

Hell even kerosene lamps haven't melted or softened up and morphed into warped glass shapes due to the tremendous heat of those internal fuel fires.

And internal combustion engines (where the temperatures get a boat load higher than any temps inside the WTC) how have millions of engines not just melted away to nothing?

 :facepalm:
Logged
It’s very ironic, because Trump was very dependent on Hope Hicks and his whole presidency is about giving hicks hope.

Alfred91

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 28427
  • Bob was a stupid name.
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #226 on: December 16, 2015, 09:55:49 PM »

None of this is POTC material, dorks.

Move it along.
Logged
I do important things. Like your mom.

Puckfiend

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 29772
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #227 on: December 17, 2015, 06:50:22 AM »

Yep.  This place is for another board member to post your post.  Barry is clearly in violation of TSS man laws.
Logged
Of all the people I have ever interacted with, you guys are some of them.

Friar Tang

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 12890
  • Old Burnt Bastard
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #228 on: December 17, 2015, 09:08:41 AM »

Yep.  This place is for another board member to post your post.  Barry is clearly in violation of TSS man laws.

Again.
Logged
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

Alfred91

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 28427
  • Bob was a stupid name.
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #229 on: December 17, 2015, 10:05:36 AM »

I think I know a good punishment - Junkie, bring over that magazine.
Logged
I do important things. Like your mom.

Friar Tang

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 12890
  • Old Burnt Bastard
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #230 on: January 04, 2016, 03:19:19 PM »

After Shanny's tenure in Denver, I'm a firm believer that after a certain period of time at the same place, your message gets stale and eventually you have to move on. After 10-15 seasons, it's time to move on.


That's true with wives too, but it's obscenely expensive and kids can hold grudges, which is bad when you get old and can't take care of yourself.
Logged
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

Puckfiend

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 29772
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #231 on: January 17, 2016, 12:44:55 PM »




"See that pic-6? That's Russell Wilson's pic-6!"
Logged
Of all the people I have ever interacted with, you guys are some of them.

South Stands Junkie

  • Administrator
  • Most assuredly is the
  • *****
  • Posts: 67944
  • Master of Decadent Message Boarding
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #232 on: January 17, 2016, 12:52:44 PM »

bwahaha....solid work, Tang.
Logged
"Yes sir, I'd be famous, I'd be that monkey."

Captain Dougus

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 14862
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #233 on: January 17, 2016, 01:36:55 PM »

Mackelmore drives me nuts.
Logged

South Stands Junkie

  • Administrator
  • Most assuredly is the
  • *****
  • Posts: 67944
  • Master of Decadent Message Boarding
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #234 on: January 17, 2016, 02:45:00 PM »

Mackelmore drives me nuts.

Macklemore has a few good songs, but looks like he might not mind letting dudes park their meat in his mouth.
Logged
"Yes sir, I'd be famous, I'd be that monkey."

les morpions

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 14948
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #235 on: January 21, 2016, 06:48:07 AM »


No, I laugh at the hypocrisy of how you guys ignore all this crap that has been going on for years until someone with a D behind their name does it, then you strut and bluster and blow about how it's an assault on all that is good and right and decent in the world and that JUSTICE MUST BE DONE!!!

Bush gets us into a war based on a bunch a BS and that's OK (or, at least, not his fault), but Hillary sends an email from the wrong account and it's time to storm the gates? That's why I laugh at you guys...
Logged
It’s very ironic, because Trump was very dependent on Hope Hicks and his whole presidency is about giving hicks hope.

bronco militia

  • Administrator
  • Most assuredly is the
  • *****
  • Posts: 44859
  • This one's for Pat!
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #236 on: February 16, 2016, 08:28:40 AM »

Bob Loblaw

Re: Peyton Manning to the Broncos: UPDATE 3/19/12 - Peyton Manning a Donk

« Reply #2451 on: February 15, 2016, 04:04:31 PM »



Just remember - I'm the blackest fucker here.

Who else has been tasered for no good reason?
Logged
you can't swallow what I'm thinking

Alfred91

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 28427
  • Bob was a stupid name.
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #237 on: March 17, 2016, 07:45:00 PM »



It's even more uncanny when you think that Cruz is trying to trip up Donald Trump and Grayson Allen is trying to trip up, well, everybody.
Logged
I do important things. Like your mom.

Barry

  • Guest
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #238 on: March 17, 2016, 07:51:57 PM »

That was a good line.
Logged

Barry

  • Guest
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #239 on: April 21, 2016, 08:37:32 PM »

KCbroncoHATER
Rubber Fister


I have a big bag of fuck you for you donks.

Please, enjoy!

out.


lmbao
Logged

Barry

  • Guest
Logged

Puckfiend

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 29772
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #241 on: August 10, 2017, 07:50:47 PM »

On a related note, I usually shit every morning during my normal daily routine, but I stop shitting regularly when I go on fishing trips, as my body knows I don't want to shit on an island. I've done it before and it sucks. I'm a messy shitter, so if I go in the woods, I take my pants off, as I don't want to shit on my pants or underwear.

I didn't shit for the first five days of the trip and we ate like kings. It felt like a I had a solid NFL regulation size meat football sitting in my intestines/colon fermenting and growing with every meal. It was making me sluggish and miserable. I finally told my buds who are doctors and they had me chug a double batch of Mirilax with water and had me eat a fiber bar. I stayed in that evening while the others went out fishing, as I could feel the Mirilax and fiber bar loosening things up. I had the cabin to myself when I finally had to shit. I'm not going to get into too many specifics other then to say that toilets there weren't exactly powerful and we were supposed to use one ply toilet paper if that gives you an idea of the power of the plumbing system.

A man can create quite a lot of shit in 5 days of eating copious fish frys, 16 ounce strip steaks, ribs, pork chops, mozzarella sticks, corn on the cob, and chicken wings, as well as the other assorted side dishes. After I was done, I looked in the toilet before wiping and instantly knew a pre-toilet paper flush was needed, but I never really calculated the math on how that much shit would somehow go down that toilet and out of the pipe.

I'll just say that if I had to do it all over again, I would have grabbed a zip lock freezer bag and put them on my hands and would have grabbed the turds and put them in a plastic bag and taken them to the woods. My dumb ass decided to roll the dice and go for broke, hoping that I'd somehow defy the laws of physics and watch several meat footballs whisked down that tiny pipe using minimal water pressure.

I'll stop there by saying that when I flushed, no turds went down the pipe and I watched in sheer horror as the toilet bowl filled with water and by the grace of God stopped exactly even at bowl level and not a millimeter below. It was a miracle that the floor wasn't flooded with water and turds. I stood there with my shitty ass staring at the completely filled bowl trying to troubleshoot my way out of this clusterfuck before everyone returned, as I would have been mocked for the next 40 years on fishing trips.

So I came up with a game plan:

A: I went over to the other bathroom and completed my wiping duties on the other toilet.

B: I looked over every inch of the cabin for a plunger, but there wasn't one anywhere.

C: I knew I had to get some water out of that bowl before I did anything, so I cut the top of an empty milk jug and transported some of the shit water over to other toilet until said bowl was at the approximate normal water level.

D: I went outside and found a good solid stick.

E: I took that stick and beat those turds like they owed me money....until I thought I was staring at nothing but dark brown soup that would easily flush down.

F: I flushed the toilet again, 99.9% sure the brown soup would easily flush down the pipe.

G: I clenched my asshole tight as my brown stew filled the bowl to the top of the brim once again....that brown stew would have been an atrocity if it spilled all over the bathroom floor.

H: I made the walk of shame to the dude's place who owns the cabins and asked for a plunger. He assured me there was one in every cabin. I assured him there wasn't.

I: I took the plunger back to cabin. i still had to remove some beef stew from one toilet to the next with my trusty milk jug in order to use the plunger without slinging stew all over the place when I used the plunger.

J: I plunged and plunged and plunged until I could plunge no more, as I was terrified at the thought of beef stew covering the floor.

K: I'm not religious, but I silently prayed for that toilet to flush....which it did, it was a beautiful things to behold.

L: It was dark outside by then. I rinsed out the jug and tossed it in the garbage and did a cursory check of both bathrooms to make sure all looked normal.

M: I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to the couch and got about a paragraph into an article in one of the Outdoor Life magazines that was in the cabin before the fellas all arrived back to the cabin.

N: I looked at them all nonchalantly like nothing out of the ordinary happened while they were gone.

O: They asked me if I was finally able to take a shit.

P: I looked up from the magazine and told them I had indeed finally taken a good healthy shit and that I felt better and told them the Mirilax did the trick.

What a clusterfuck that was. I was amazed at how absolutely full the toilet bowl filled twice without spilling over a single drop. If those guys would have witnessed me running back and forth between bathrooms to wipe my ass and then haul milk jugs of shit water and beef stew between toilets, they would still be laughing at this very moment.

I literally finished all that up with about a minute to spare before they blew into the cabin.
Logged
Of all the people I have ever interacted with, you guys are some of them.

Captain Dougus

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 14862
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #242 on: August 10, 2017, 11:39:03 PM »

Ya, that's one.
Logged

Stee

  • Kancho Master
  • *****
  • Posts: 1970
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #243 on: August 12, 2017, 10:56:38 AM »

my wife read your story Junkie.. I was reading it and trying not to cry and she asked what is so funny. gave her the laptop and she giggled for an hour.. she needed the laugh badly, I personally thank you for your writting talent.. She said he should write a coffee table book of shits.. hahahha
Logged
IF YOU KEEP SHOOTIN YOU CAN TURN ANY PIECE OF MEAT INTO BURGER

South Stands Junkie

  • Administrator
  • Most assuredly is the
  • *****
  • Posts: 67944
  • Master of Decadent Message Boarding
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #244 on: August 12, 2017, 05:56:06 PM »

Sweet....I'm glad she enjoyed the story and appreciate the compliment.
Logged
"Yes sir, I'd be famous, I'd be that monkey."

South Stands Junkie

  • Administrator
  • Most assuredly is the
  • *****
  • Posts: 67944
  • Master of Decadent Message Boarding
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #245 on: September 12, 2017, 10:12:56 AM »

https://twitter.com/missmagamia/status/906962450188206082

they took everything but work boots - stee
Logged
"Yes sir, I'd be famous, I'd be that monkey."

Puckfiend

  • Golden Fist
  • *
  • Posts: 29772
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #246 on: January 09, 2018, 11:17:57 AM »

I thought shihpoo was what Larry says after pulling out.
Logged
Of all the people I have ever interacted with, you guys are some of them.

westcliffe

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 9545
    • Sangre De Cristo Panorama
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #247 on: January 09, 2018, 06:55:38 PM »

That was hi-Larry-us.  Good job Southern.
Logged
I put my phone in airplane mode and now it calls me Shirley.

les morpions

  • Onanist-in-Chief
  • ********
  • Posts: 14948
Re: Post of the Century Thread
« Reply #248 on: January 21, 2018, 03:29:57 PM »

lol....everyone knows what #1 and #2 look like.  You had a #3
Logged
It’s very ironic, because Trump was very dependent on Hope Hicks and his whole presidency is about giving hicks hope.
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10]